“Our people once were warriors. But unlike you, Jake, they were people with mana, pride; people with spirit.”
– Once Were Warriors
Kia ora, mates. This installment of Warriors is about the original Kiwis: the Maori. You won’t be brassed off by this episode. We’re a couple of pakeha, but we give it heaps. This episode is a corker and chock-a-block with elements. Cheers, bros.
Ka mate! Ka mate! Ka ora! Ka ora!
(Tis death! Tis death! Tis life! Tis life!)
In our last (first?) episode of the year, we discuss some of the big stories in the geek and gaming world from 2014. While they may not be the same stories everyone else is talking about, they’re the ones that had the most impact in our little circle across the Pacific.
It is a period of scheduling war. Having missed one upload date, Chris and Lyal are forced to record without Wayne. During the week, Disney released the trailer for Episode VII, a trailer with the power to break the entire Internet. Pursued by deadlines, Chris and Lyal race to record the episode and restore regularity to the upload schedule.
Hmm. The above might read better if you imagine the Star Wars theme playing. It might not, though.
Archaeologist #1: The inscription reads, “As for all men who shall enter this my tomb impure, there will be judgment. An end shall be made for him. I shall seize his neck like a bird. I shall cast the fear of myself into him.”
Archaeologist #2: Actually, I think the “bird” is silent in this case.
Archaeologist #1: Ah. I think you’re right. Still, not so good for us, is it?
Archaeologist #2: True.
In this installment of Creature Features, we discuss mummies, the triple threat.
Have a bunch of hungry of listeners and only one hour to prepare? Well, if you have a corpse in the fridge and a few human foibles in the cupboard, you can satisfy even the most demanding guest with this zesty variation of our Creature Feature series.
1 corpse, brined in the tears of a condemned man
a splash of wasted ability
seven vulgarities, diced
1 cup of the last words of a dying man (For a low-fat alternative, use the last words of a toddler.)
Cover the corpse in a sauce made from the ingredients.
Pass through the flames of Hell until the sinner recants or the meat is pink in the middle.
Slice into steaks and serve with sprigs of parsley, uh, from the damned.
“In the roar of an engine, he lost everything. And became a shell of a man, a burnt out, desolate man, a man haunted by the demons of his past, a man who wandered out into the wasteland.” – The Road Warrior
The selfish rogues, the emotional voids, the cold-blooded killers. These arethe antiheroes of literature, TV and the movies. We’ve all played these characters at some point or another, but are we doing it right? Listen up to find out.
“Cursed be those who disturb the rest of the Idle Red Hands. They that shall break the seal of this podcast shall meet death by a disease that no doctor can diagnose. What? You’ve invented blood tests and MRIs? Never mind.”
– Updated Curse of the Idle Red Hands
This is the episode we almost lost. Cursed? Or cursed that we recovered it? You be the judge. This episode has an Idle Red Hands first: a tool for gamemasters to use when planning curses for their game. (Which reminds me that we need to get our sample up on the forums.)