Citizen A: Thank you, Reptilon! Thank you for saving our city from Neo-Varlos!
Citizen B: Saving our city? Look around, it’s nothing but rubble now. Citizen A: Yes, but Reptilon destroyed those buildings by accident. Citizen B: As opposed to Neo-Varlos who was intentionally trying to destroy them? Citizen A: Exactly. Even though the results are the same, intention is all that matters in a kaiju battle.
A big creature feature this week as Chris, Wayne, and Lyal discuss kaiju (giant monsters). We draw out common elements and inspiration from the new Godzilla movie, as well as some old classics such as Gamera and the original King of the Monsters, Gojira. (Lyal also frequently mentions Yonggary, which is, according to him, the absolute worst movie ever made.) Then we stomp over to using these city-sized beasts as antagonists, events, and protagonists. It’s a truly titanic episode!
“Riding through this world all alone God blah blah soul, you’re on your own The crow flies straight, a perfect line Blah the devil’s blah blah blah die blah blah blah blah eye(?).”
-Sons of Anarchy theme
In our latest installment of Creature Feature, we look at outlaw motorcycle clubs or “biker gangs” for those not in the know. After listening, you’ll see why “Biker Gangs” was our original title for the episode.
Archaeologist #1: The inscription reads, “As for all men who shall enter this my tomb impure, there will be judgment. An end shall be made for him. I shall seize his neck like a bird. I shall cast the fear of myself into him.”
Archaeologist #2: Actually, I think the “bird” is silent in this case.
Archaeologist #1: Ah. I think you’re right. Still, not so good for us, is it?
Archaeologist #2: True.
In this installment of Creature Features, we discuss mummies, the triple threat.
In our first episode of our third annual Month of Horror, we look at the Inquisition. Sodomy, bigamy, heresy, and witch, uh, sorcery; this episode has it all. We discuss how to play an inquisitor as an antagonist (easy) and how to play them as a protagonist (not so easy).
Special guest appearances by one of Lyal’s cats and some of his dishes. He has since been brought in for questioning on suspicion of witchcraft.
Have a bunch of hungry of listeners and only one hour to prepare? Well, if you have a corpse in the fridge and a few human foibles in the cupboard, you can satisfy even the most demanding guest with this zesty variation of our Creature Feature series.
1 corpse, brined in the tears of a condemned man
a splash of wasted ability
seven vulgarities, diced
1 cup of the last words of a dying man (For a low-fat alternative, use the last words of a toddler.)
Cover the corpse in a sauce made from the ingredients.
Pass through the flames of Hell until the sinner recants or the meat is pink in the middle.
Slice into steaks and serve with sprigs of parsley, uh, from the damned.
“Four score and seven days ago, I did not have sex with that woman. My opponents have brought forth these allegations to distract the nation from the problems of slavery and secession.” – Abraham Lincoln
In this episode, we talk about politicians, the media, and bureaucracy.
In this installment of Creature Features, we get in the Christmas spirit (kind of) and talk about fairies, except for elves (okay, not at all). We discuss different elements you can use in your game, which apparently includes David Bowie’s bulging crotch (all that Wayne remembered from Labyrinth).
We also finally settle the question of which was the best superhero movie of 2012: The Dark Knight Rises or The Avengers.
Lyal tries a new microphone and literally sounds like he’s phoning it in instead of metaphorically (as usual). Funny how the microphone picks up the sound of ice dropping into a glass from three metres away with perfect clarity, but struggles to pick up a voice from three centimetres away. Looks like it’s back to the sound board.
We kick off our second annual Month of Horror with a look at ghosts. We examine some common themes and discuss how to use them as antagonists and protagonists. We also discover that any reality TV show can be made better by adding ghosts.
Lyal attempts some scary breathing this episode (I guess that’s what he was doing). We’ll get him to mute the microphone next time. While Lyal’s doing this, Chris and Wayne seem to forget that this is the Month of Horror.
In this installment of Creature Features, we continue to redefine what a “creature” is. We look at the mysterious, sexy and dangerous femme fatale and the lesser known homme letal (probably because we coined it).