A long time ago in a country far, far away…
Episode CXCI
The Hands Reopen
The Idle Red Hands have vanished. In their absence, well, 2016 happened. Sorry.
A youngish (very -ish) idealist, Jeremy, knows that the world needs the Idle Red Hands and dispatches his best pilot, Alan, to retrieve the old hosts. And Alan messed it up. What do you expect when you send your best pilot? Why not send your best spy or bounty hunter? Maybe have the best pilot fly them where they want to go. Was your best spy too busy engaging in dogfights to do what he was trained to do?
Anyway, one old host returns, but is it the right one? (Disclaimer: Fans of Wayne will be disappointed.) This new alliance reviews The Force Awakens just in time for Rogue One. (Timely as always, Idle Red Hands.)
“Memento mori.” (Remember you will die.)
-the famous phrase whispered in the ear of a victorious general during a triumph
“Shut the f**k up.”
-the less famous response
With hanami (cherry blossom viewing) still fresh in their minds, Wayne and Lyal discuss festivals and the questions you need to ask yourself when including them in your game. We also discuss Savage Rifts (guitar riff), the game that threatens to break the Internet.
In this episode, we pick the five RPGs every role player should have on his or her shelf, including which edition to have. These aren’t our five favourite games or the five most popular games of all time. Nope. These are five games whose mere possession will contribute to your overall gaming experience.
These are the criteria we used. Play along at home.
Innovative
Impact
Representative of a specific type of a game
Widespread
Paid us to mention them (Kidding. No company took us up on our offer.)
“I’m just a simple goblin. Do you know we don’t have a word for ‘family’ or ‘love’? Suffice to say, I don’t really understand your attachment to the small humans. I have noticed, however, that most of you will do whatever it takes to prevent … misfortune befalling your wee ones. Goblins also don’t have a word for ‘regret,’ but I know you do. Think about the regrets you’ll have if you don’t take my offer.”
-“Glassy” Salo, bootlegger, racketeer, businessman, goblin
In this installment of Creature Features, we look at the lowly goblin. Will you play them as tiny fodder, as roguish antiheroes, or as unchecked capitalists?
“Our people once were warriors. But unlike you, Jake, they were people with mana, pride; people with spirit.”
– Once Were Warriors
Kia ora, mates. This installment of Warriors is about the original Kiwis: the Maori. You won’t be brassed off by this episode. We’re a couple of pakeha, but we give it heaps. This episode is a corker and chock-a-block with elements. Cheers, bros.
Ka mate! Ka mate! Ka ora! Ka ora!
(Tis death! Tis death! Tis life! Tis life!)
The Red Hands of Idle
The two men met to cast. One spoke with the dangerous ease of a panther, too fiercely supple to be a product of civilization. Nor was his face that of a civilized man: it was as untamed as the primordial ghetto which formed its background. The other was Lyal.
In this installment of Literature Lessons, we look at the work of Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan, Kull, and Soloman Kane.
“There can be only one!”
-Connor MacLeod, Highlander
Which is probably why we cut our references to Highlander: no one likes solo adventures. What we didn’t cut were Wayne’s frequent references to Dungeons & Dragons, odd coming from such a “fan” of Dungeon World.
In this installment of Creature Features, we discuss playing and playing against deities. After we cut all of the blasphemy, we were left with Thor comics and D&D cosmology.
